When+the+Weather+is+Chili

When the Weather is Chili By: Matt Woolsey As Gary ran out of the luxury booth, he made sure to snatch up some shrimp. Close behind, Melvin had other plans as he reached for the caviar. As the two ran while dining on expensive, glistening handfuls of food, Gary noticed an “escape route,” it was rather dangerous, but if he did it, it would give him enough time to pull of his plan before Melvin caught him. It was cold and soggy Monday afternoon. As we look closer, we see three college students who had been ditching classes all day in order to come to the hideous and trashy parking lot at Invesco Field at Mile High. While various body parts seemed to freeze of their body, they huddled around a Weber grill which was set up behind a Chrysler 300. As they Munched on brats that seemed to freeze before they could get them into there mouths, Melvin asked, “Where’s the Chili?” “I don’t know, I thought you were brining it,” said Gary “Nooo, Warren was brining it,” Melvin said angrily. “But I brought chips and salsa,” Warren argued. “Yeah, but you didn’t have to, you were supposed to bring the chili,” Melvin shot back. “Who cares, it’s still relatively Mexican,” said Gary. “I don’t think Chili is Mexican,” said Warren. “Doesn’t matter, I need chili,” said Melvin “You neeeeed chili?” asked a relatively confused Gary. “Well, yeah,” said now a seemingly embarrassed Melvin. “Why?” said Gary “Well… you know how it is,” said Melvin. “I don’t think I do,” said a now just plain confused Gary. “Well then that sucks for you,” Melvin said in a rather rude tone. “What?” Gary asked as if he couldn’t believe what Gary was saying. “Whoa, guys, its just Chili” said Warren who had been enjoying deliciously large portions of chips and salsa after he realized no one else was going to eat them. “Yeah that’s true Melvin, just cool it down,” said Gary in a soothing tone. “Don’t use a soothing tone with me while your taking Warren’s side” snapped Melvin. “What sides are there to take? This is hardly even an argument,” protested Gary. “Well maybe I’m just mad at Warren and I’m just trying to make you mad at him to, but I guess that didn’t work” said Melvin in a hurried pace. At this time Warren had slunk over to another group of shivering tailgaters, who feasted on his delicious chips and salsa, so thus far no harm was done to his and Melvin’s relationship. “Wow, that’s a horrible plan” Gary said. After Garry’s comment there was a moment of silence. “I’m leaving”, said Gary as he walked over to the now salsa filled tailgaters. “Oooohhh no your not”, Melvin said, now chasing after him. They both took off running. Because of Warren’s lack of parking skills, they had parked a considerably long distance away from the stadium, so they had a pretty good and calve ripping run before they got there. Melvin was only behind Gary by a couple feet, but when Gary got to the entrance, he slowed down, politely showed the guard his ticket, and then, Melvin did the same. The two college students proceeded to enter the stadium… and then it was on! Melvin took of after Gary with mind boggling speed as Gary ran away with mind boggling slowness. Melvin was faster then Gary, but Gary could really throw his weight around, so any one in his path was about the equivalent to if there was a pancake with Aunt Jemima syrup lying on the ground before him. Melvin on the other hand really had to weave through the crowd, so it ended up being a pretty level playing field for this mile high battle through the hallways at Invesco Field. Gary knew that the only way to end this was to get Melvin some chili (Gary thought this completely forgetting that Melvin didn’t really care about the chili as much as he cared about getting Gary to be mad at Warren, carrying on…). He knew that he would have to get away from Melvin, just long enough in order to get some chili. He saw an open door and thought he might be able to shake him. As he ran into a glorious party with an endless row of rich people staring at him, he noticed he was wearing nothing but pants and the number 7 painted on his chest, he then realized that this moment was number 17 on his bucket list (if you don’t know what a bucket list is, well, it’s basically just a list of things you want to do before you die, there’s a movie about with Morgan Freeman), but he didn’t have time to soak it in, so he continued running. As Gary ran out of the luxury booth, he made sure to snatch up some shrimp. Close behind, Melvin had other plans as he reached for the caviar. As the two ran while dining on expensive food, Gary noticed an “escape route” that was rather dangerous, but if he could pull it off. It would give him just enough time to pull of his plan before Melvin caught him. He leapt out of a stairwell, falling a good three to four stories before bouncing of a popcorn stand and then proceeding to land on the mascot. He got up, leaving both Melvin, and the mascot, dazed, confused and in the dust. He ran past the ice cream stand, the drinks stand, the face paint stand, the souvenir stand, the sweepstakes stand and various other stands ranging from cheese curds to toilet sales. After running a good three minutes, he arrived at a, what seemed to be gleaming chili stand, he got in line. Unfortunately, the line that was being produced from the chili stand was the cause for roughly 76.2 percent of all the traffic he had just run through, in other words, it was long. As we skip ahead about 25 minutes we see Gary about to place his order, wondering what happened to Melvin, then he though that it didn’t matter, what ever was happening was giving him a lot of extra time, he walked up to place his order, he placed his order, the man behind the counter asked “Would you like cheese on that” he said “no”. As he turned around he was socked just above his left temple, sending him to the ground and the chili to the air. “Was that chili?” asked Melvin with a hint of sadness in his voice. “Yes,” replied Gary. “Was that for me?” asked Melvin, who already knew the answer. “Yep” said Gary with a hint of hurt in his voice. “But, it wasn’t about the chili, remember?” asked Melvin. “Oh yeah” said Gary. “Well… sucks to be me” Melvin said in a slightly joking tone. “I guess it sucks to be me to” said Gary, slightly happier. “Yep” said Melvin. “mmm hmm” sounded Gary. “Well… let’s go find Warren” said Garry after a long sigh. “Do we have to” asked Melvin. “Yes, yes we do” replied Gary. “Whatever” said Melvin. As they walked away to find Warren, the mascot started to chase after them… they both sighed, as if everything was better.